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Heterophobia, anyone?

People love theories. Many of us have a theory about practically everything under the Sun. People love to discuss the ‘whys’ and the cause and effect of things. People even have theories about other people. And of course, there is everyone’s favourite theory of Homosexuality. Everyone you meet will have a theory about it. Biological? Mental? Psychological? Pre-natal? Pre-birth? Situational? Blah? Blah blah? Blah blah blah?

It’s the most interesting when self-proclaimed straight people spring theories about homosexuality! Heck, even homosexuals have a theory on homosexuals.

Today I am postulating a theory about heterosexuality. Why? Because I can. That’s why.

I think we are all born gay. ALL of us. And that our tendency at birth is to be homosexual. But because our societal structure is so warped, we’re not given any sort of choice when we grow up because we are apparently sperm and egg producing machines and our primary goal in life is to procreate and populate this planet with healthy off spring since our species is dwindling rapidly. And keeping this end goal in mind, society lends heterosexual couples its stamp of approval and scowls at ANYTHING otherwise. That’s not very wise I think.

Also there are then several benefits of conformity that this society bestows upon the sperm-egg alliance. One of them is that without having to do any real achievement in life too, society looks admiringly at the newly Spermegged( see what I did there?) ones. It earns them an unsaid respect. Have you met ANYONE who shuffled around awkwardly wondering what the hell to say when they were told by this newly Spermegged person? No! The reaction is always, “Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And always exaggerated too. Another GREAT benefit of being a part of a majority of the crowd in society is that there can always be dinner table conversation starters. Spouses, honeymoons, kids(of course), future, kids’ future, insurance, goals, marital bliss(of course. That’s compulsory) etc. Now if you’re a heterosexual who’s looking to get married, or a closet homosexual who wants to be in the closet but only exposes flailing arms at appropriate junctures indicating a wish to be married, that ALSO earns you a lot of respect in society. Society bemoans the dearth of suitable matches for these wonderful and fertile human beings. This is all very serious business. Apparently.

In this business of  exaggerated extremes of emotions of congratulating and bemoaning heterosexuals, where’s the space for asking, “What if I don’t want to be spermegged?” There isn’t.

Now give me ONE reason why I should not feel heterophobic!!

So if homosexuals are time and again accused of being homosexual by choice not birth, I accuse heterosexuals of being straight WITHOUT even a choice. Read it again if it’s confusing.

The next time someone asks you, “When did you figure that you were gay?”, I encourage you to ask them, “When did you figure that you were straight?”.  If you meet a bigot who throws “it’s unnatural” at you, talk to them about anal or BJs. When they tell you, “of course it was going to get over. Why did you go after someone whom you knew was straight?”, tell them “at least I have an excuse of being gay and so it didn’t work out. What’s yours?” Ha! You see? It can be a lot of fun.

To summarize my theory, ALL of us are born gay. We just BECOME straight out of no choice.

I am currently relishing the silence and peace that has been brought by breaking up with social media. It left my brain buzzing after a long day on Twitter; and by ‘buzzing’, I literally felt that it was buzzing. Going away from Facebook and Twitter has been the best decision of this year so far!

Even more so because I am a huge fan of the Law of attraction and in turn of Personal development or self-improvement. I like to see myself as a deliberate creator of all my experiences-good and bad. And the last one and half year has shown me some great results in my career, interpersonal relationships and finances. I have come from having practically NO money to having more money than I can spend. But now I want more. I want to do much more. What was once out of my reach, is already my comfort zone now. And now begins one more round of thinking about what I really want, how much I want, what will I do once I get it etc.

And that’s the Work! Unless I sift through life-options, I won’t know what I really really really want. For this work to happen, a certain degree of quietude is required. It’s trickier than one would imagine. I know more people who have no frickin’ clue of what they really want(because they don’t see HOW they’ll get it) than the ones who know and are going after it. In fact come to think of it, I know only one such person who is deliberately living happily. And she’s one of the wisest people that I know.

guitarnotepad

So this quietude is IMPOSSIBLE with facebook and its other evil twin chipping away at precious mental resources. I also think that too much online presence robs one of emotional responsiveness. At least, that’s what happened to me! I am a musician and composer and emotions are my friends. Dark emotions are my muses. Because of my brain being re-wired to constantly liking or tweeting something, I was hardly ever present in my own life! It seemed impossible to sit down for a couple of hours and finish composing a piece. Firstly, there wasn’t any place in my brain from all that buzzing, for a thought to come and settle down. Secondly, I didn’t have the headspace to give thought to that settled thought. Thirdly, I didn’t want to go through the painful process of seeing the song built till its last chord; tweeting was easier! Everything on social media is so transient. One can’t get attached to any thought/event for longer than 10 seconds. And it was very damaging to the musician’s spirit inside me. I need to be attached to my song. I need to be attached to( at least in that moment) the person that I am holding in my heart as I write the song. Then I have to use my craft, which is chords, rhythm, melody, scales etc and rehearse and repeat the song a hundred times microscopically hovering over every little detail to see if it matches the feeling I want to evoke. It’s an emotionally taxing process. Ask any songwriter worth his salt and he’ll tell you.

Honestly, inspiration to write songs has not struck me yet, but I know that this is a great step in the right direction. I am practising guitar everyday; back to the basics and I know that that’s where all my joy and motivation lies.

If any of you have been thinking of going off Facebook, please do it. It will feel odd at first, but trust me, you’ll be relieved to be out of the black hole!

Reclaiming Life

no-facebook-me

In one line, I’m off time vampires-Facebook and Twitter.
I just deactivated my Facebook account and guess what? My life isn’t falling apart without knowing who is doing what.
It perhaps isn’t time to be too excited yet since it’s just the first day. But I have already listened to and downloaded(after buying) a ton of my favourite music- Vivaldi, Rachmaninoff,  Kishori Amonkar. That’s more music than I’ve heard in the last one week!
I don’t plan to come back to Facebook again ever. So let’s see how that goes.

Wishlist 2013

These are wishes, not horses; aptly so.  This is what I expect from life in 2013:

  1. More wealth
  2. More health
  3. More conversations
  4. More memories
  5. More friends
  6. More travel
  7. More music
  8. More dreams
  9. More heart
  10. More honesty
  11. More integrity
  12. More generosity
  13. More togetherness
  14. More courage
  15. More companionship
  16. More meaning
  17. More laughter
  18. More dance
  19. More hand-holding
  20. More hugs
  21. More liberty
  22. More freedom
  23. More independence
  24. More offline
  25. More sunrises
  26. More mountains
  27. More lakes
  28. More trees
  29. More beauty
  30. More growth
  31. More learning
  32. More knowledge
  33. More compositions
  34. More poetry
  35. More satisfaction
  36. More bliss
  37. More blessings
  38. More selflessness
  39. More moments
  40. More communication
  41. More deliciousness
  42. More fragrance
  43. More security
  44. More fun
  45. More muscle
  46. More inspiration
  47. More anticipation
  48. More surprises
  49. More room
  50. More LOVE!

Creating is beautiful!

So! Apparently I am a carpenter now. One fine morning I realised that I was not feeling all that fine. I knew that I really wanted to distract myself constructively from some very bothersome thoughts. I drew up my options and one of them was this: buying an electric drill. As usual I put that on the backburner and went about doing things I had procrastinated for long: getting my car-insurance renewed etc. And as luck would have it, the car insurance dude’s office was right beside a nice-looking hardware store. I went inside and five minutes later I was the owner of this:

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And after putting up a few wall-frames, key hangers and mirrors on the wall I felt I was ready to make bigger things happen. So I dismantled a huge entertainment unit last night, pulled out plywood that would make good shelves etc. and started to work. I needed a bedside table. I found these:

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And soon(after 2 hours) it was done! Check it out:

IMG_2752

Pretty neat for  a totally untrained carpenter, eh? I think so too!

I am incredibly happy with myself right now. And I think that’s all that matters anyway. I can’t thank the Universe enough for blessing me with unbounded creativity!

Time to go out and buy some cute things to keep on my side-table 😀

New tool!

New tool!

I bought myself an electric drill and learnt how to use it! So happy!!

Straight line

I decided to be brazen about my thirst for her. And I think she liked it to be wanted so badly by a man who nobody had managed to reign over.
As I drove back from her house I had a firm smile plastered across my face and so flagging down by cops, for what they called “routine check” for drunk drivers, came as a bit of a jolt. Anyway, I rolled my window down as instructed and I was asked my name. I replied lazily because I knew the drill; they would not smell any alcohol in my breath and just let me go. But he brought out his breathelyzer and asked me to exhale. The instrument beeped hastily and I was asked to step out of the car. The cop then ordered me to walk in a straight line. I thought this was like crossing a line. I told him that I didn’t drink alcohol ever; not today, like any other day. Now these bunch of cops were looking at me like I was lying and one of them said that if I could walk that straight line, they would let me go. I summoned in my mind all my walking skills from the last 30 years. I had to do this. I felt like an Olympian. I felt like a 7 year old boy being watched by his physical training teachers in anticipated dejection before failing to perform five pull-ups. I opened my eyes as I took the first step and walked a complete straight line. But that didn’t help much because I was walking two and a half feet above the ground.

I have finally decided what my 3rd 30-day challenge is going to be.

For the next 30 days starting today, I will learn one new technique about Ableton Live 8 and fully know to apply it.

Ableton Live is a superb production/recording/performance music software and I know in my heart that I want to master it. But like many other things, I knew I was avoiding doing it because of self-limiting beliefs. Since I have been a guitarist and a singer-songwriter, I have thought myself more capable of working with an “acoustic heart” and that electronic music wouldn’t come naturally to me. Hence I want to see what gains in knowledge happen at the end of 30 days 🙂

So again, like with the principles of fitness everything happens incrementally and so will this; one step at a time.

At the onset, I apologize for my extended absence from blogging daily. Good news is that my 30-day challenge was successfully completed. Now working out is a habit and I can safely say that I can’t live without it 🙂

There were a couple of unexpected hurdles along the way to the 30 days. For one, I was hit by a massive common cold attack that took some time to recover. But what I did during the time when I couldn’t get my body to exercise was, I ate healthy. And very very consciously.

I can already see changes in my body and I am very inspired because of that! Also, I took swimming classes. I have only attended 2 till now. But considering that I am awfully scared of swimming pools, this was a giant step for me. So hoping to continue that without making excuses!

Now I understand why they say that working out can change your life! There are so many hidden lessons in this whole process of working out towards fitness. Since the changes in the body happen so incrementally, you know for sure that one week of exercise is not going to get you to your desired goal. Hence patience becomes necessary. Eating the elephant piece by piece comes next. So planning follows. Sore muscles are evidence of changes taking place inside the body even if you can’t see it on the surface as yet. Faith in the goal, no matter how impossible, comes automatically. Also, personally I noticed that I wouldn’t push my body enough when I worked out earlier. But now I am driven more because I know I am making lifestyle changes, painstakingly planning my meals, avoiding falling to temptation to eat pizza etc. And I eat more consciously because I know that I am really giving each work out my 100%. So this diet and exercise motivation is now feeding off each other, which is great!

What I mean is, that exercise has now made it clear to me that with every goal in life, it has to be done in a similar way: one piece at a time, with faith, patience and confidence that it’s going to happen even if I can’t see “how” just as yet. I think, if I HAD to choose a religion, it would be Fitness 😀 Because it’s makes you an awesome person!

Now I am really feeling lost without a 30-day challenge. Any ideas on what it should be?